Caught in a Romance Scam: A Real Story and How to Stay Safe

Romance scams are more common than most of us think. Often, they don’t start with flowers and sweet nothings. Sometimes, they begin with a random phone call and end in emotional and financial devastation. I want to share a real-life story that happened to a close friend of mine in the U.S. His name is James. He's a smart, successful guy who recently got engaged.

What happened to James could happen to anyone. His story is a wake-up call for all of us.

The Story: A Scam That Started With Love and Ended in Fear

James lives in California and recently got engaged to his long-time girlfriend, Emily. Everything seemed perfect until one afternoon, Emily received a call from an unknown number. The person on the other end claimed to be an old friend of James and asked a few vague questions about him.

Concerned, Emily told James about the call. He, feeling curious and a bit cautious, decided to call the number back. The person on the other end seemed friendly and persuasive. “Hey man, I have something to show you, let’s jump on a video call real quick,” the scammer said casually.

Thinking it might genuinely be someone from the past, James agreed. But what happened next shocked him to the core.

As soon as the video call connected, James found himself staring at a topless woman on the other end. Before he could even process what was happening, the call ended.

Minutes later, the same number sent him a message: “We recorded everything. Pay us or we’ll send this video to your fiancée, your family, your employer, everyone.”

James was devastated. He hadn’t done anything wrong, but now he was caught in a trap. His mind spiraled into fear and panic. What if they followed through? What if his relationship or career got ruined over something he didn’t even choose to be part of?

What Is a Romance Scam?

A romance scam, also known as catfishing or love fraud, is when a scammer pretends to be romantically interested in someone to manipulate them emotionally, gain their trust, and ultimately exploit them. Usually, it’s for money, but sometimes for compromising photos or videos, like in James’ case.

These scams can happen over dating apps, social media, or even random phone calls and texts. They often involve fake profiles, sweet talk, flattery, and sometimes explicit content to lure victims into a trap.

In James' situation, the scam had a slightly different twist. The scammer used a fake friendship and manipulated a video call situation to create damaging content for blackmail.

How Do You Know If Someone Is Romance Scamming You?

It’s not always easy to spot a romance scam at first. That’s what makes them so effective. But here are some common signs:

• They move fast and push for emotional or romantic commitment early on.

• They avoid meeting in person and always have an excuse like military deployment or overseas work.

   

• They eventually ask for money, claiming emergencies or health issues.
   
• They get too personal too fast, calling you “baby” or saying they love you within days.
   
• Their photos seem too perfect or their stories sound overly dramatic.

What Can a Romance Scammer Do With Your Phone Number?

You might think giving someone your number is harmless, but in the wrong hands, it can be the start of a nightmare. Here’s what scammers can do with just your phone number:

• Spoof calls and impersonate you to others.
   
• Send phishing messages or links to fake websites.
   
• Trick you into compromising situations for blackmail.
   
• Track down your social media, family, or even your employer. 

That’s why it’s important to be cautious, especially when an unknown number asks for a video call or sends you a link.

What Are the Red Flags of a Romance Scammer?

While every scam is a bit different, these red flags are common in most romance scams:

• They avoid video calls or only show edited or fake content.  
• They have inconsistent stories or slip up with details.
   
• They ask to switch platforms quickly, like moving from Tinder to WhatsApp.
  
• They seem overly intense, showing too much affection too soon.
   
• They become angry or manipulative when questioned. 

If you notice any of these signs, trust your gut. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

How to Protect Yourself From Romance Scams

1. Take your time. Real relationships develop slowly. Don’t rush into anything online.
    
2. Verify their identity. Use reverse image searches to check profile photos.
    
3. Avoid sharing compromising content. Never send intimate photos or accept video calls from strangers.
   
4. Limit personal information. Be cautious about sharing your number, workplace, or family details.
   
5. Report suspicious behavior. Use the platform’s report feature and notify the FTC or local authorities.
    
6. Talk to someone you trust. If something feels off, share it with a friend or family member. Don’t isolate yourself.

The Emotional Side of Romance Scams

Romance scams hurt more than just your bank account. They play on trust, emotions, and vulnerability. Victims often feel ashamed or embarrassed, but it’s important to remember that it can happen to anyone.

Even smart, tech-savvy people like James can be caught off guard.

If this happens to you, know that you’re not alone and it’s not your fault. Talking about it, reporting it, and seeking support is the first step to healing and stopping these scams from continuing.

Final Thoughts: Stay Safe, Stay Smart

Romance scammers are getting more creative. They’re no longer just hiding behind fake dating profiles. They’re calling, texting, and video-chatting their way into people’s lives.

James’ story is a powerful reminder. A moment of curiosity or trust can quickly turn into fear and regret.

But by staying informed and cautious, we can protect ourselves and those we care about.

Have you ever encountered a romance scam or a suspicious message like this? Share your story or tips below and help someone else avoid becoming the next victim.